Why Nerf Wars?

So right off the bat people are going to ask us about the title “Nerf Wars: A Love Story” and what it all means.  Amanda and I have both been through a lot of crappy relationships.  I think it is safe to say some of them weren’t so pretty when it came down to arguments.  I bet everyone can relate to that.  We’ve seen holes get put through walls/doors, remote controls go flying across the room, and a plethora of 4 letter words that would make a sailor blush.  None of these are very constructive because let’s face it, you don’t want to break shit, and words mean nothing when 30 minutes later you’re saying I love you!  So we take things to a completely different level…

A couple months back I made a work trip to Indianapolis.  We went to a wonderful store on lunch called Fry’s.  If you’ve never been to one it’s pretty much Best Buy combined with Costco on crack and speed!  It’s the mecca of electronics and toys for the male of any age.  We came across an entire isle of Nerf Guns.  Being 35 I remember all too fondly the days of Nerf footballs.  But this was new to me.  An arsenal of toy guns that shot foam darts up to 30 feet.  I had to have one… and so being that I’m 35 I didn’t have to ask my mom, or even Amanda, so I purchased my first.

Not bad for a first gun if I do say so myself.  It has a 35 shot capacity (how ironic, 35).  Can fire single shot or even rapid fire.  There was only one problem with this gun, it was just one gun.  So after ambushing Amanda a few times she got pissed and decided she needed to get in on the action.  So a trip to Meijers uncovered a massive stockpile of weaponry.  The funniest part about the trip was we ran into a grandma and grandpa and their 2 grandsons.  They were also deciding what guns to buy.  Looking like experts they asked us which ones our kids had… needless to say they were a little miffed when we said we were buying guns for ourselves and that we didn’t have kids.  Amanda picked out this bad boy… and the war was on!

Not wanting to be out done I myself picked up a new gun which didn’t make Amanda very happy, but hey I’m a man so my gun, or guns, have to be bigger than yours.  I picked up the Nerf sniper rifle; the self-proclaimed “longest Nerf Gun”.  A quick word about the sniper rifle… it is definitely the longest Nerf gun, but it definitely doesn’t shoot the farthest.  In fact attaching the scope cuts down on the distance.

With our new guns locked and loaded we had ourselves a 45 minute Nerf battle to end all Nerf battles!  At the end it looked like Nerf had vomited darts all over my living room, and the two of us looked like we had done the first leg of the Tour de France.  It was a sweaty good time, and both of us felt pretty good about our Nerf prowess.  I have to say Amanda really surprised the hell out of me with the amount of darts she fired past and into my face.  I knew it had to be love!  Over the next couple months we looked at plenty of new weaponry, but it wasn’t until a half-off sale at Target that I picked up two of these smaller guns.  One was for me, and the other was for Amanda for Xmas.

Amanda had the Xmas Nerf bug too, so she decided to get the love of her life, that’s me, the biggest and baddest Nerf dart launcher, the Vortex!  This is the grand-daddy of all Nerf guns and is full automatic, has a 25 shot belt feeder and a tripod for steady aiming.  We were in Nerf heaven on Xmas Eve and decided to team up against Amanda’s sister Heidi.  She has yet to obtain a Nerf weapon so it was an easy victory for Team Nerf Lovers!

All in all we have a total of seven Nerf guns right now.  I won’t even begin to count the amount of ammo we have under our belts.  I even went as far as to purchase a Nerf battle vest which holds ammo and clips.  Of course it’s for kids so it didn’t fit this beefcake, but it was fun to try on.  So that’s how our Nerf Wars came to be.  It’s great exercise, fun for everyone, and allows us to blow off steam without burning down the house.  Maybe you’ll want to share in some Nerf War carnage with your loved ones.  If you do please let us know.

P.S.  – When I arrived home after Xmas I forgot that I had found this little devil for 60% off online.  I had to buy it right?!?  Full-auto, three 18-shot clips and a bipod, what’s not to like!  I took it out of the box New Years Eve and set it up, firing a few shots at Amanda during the evening.  When I went downstairs to get a beer Amanda thought it would be funny to ambush me when I came back in the room.  Little did she know there was an on-off switch she needed to hit before it fired… ambush thwarted! LOL